


What did you bring home last night?

by cflynnrun



Series: Loving an Earp Keeps Things Interesting [1]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Humor, One Shot, One-sided Conversation, Tumblr Prompt, my summary sucks, who's Frederick?, why is that so hard?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 08:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13854120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cflynnrun/pseuds/cflynnrun
Summary: Nicole's side of a very interesting phone conversation.Waverly brings home something unexpected. Random phone conversation ensues.Tumbler prompt. Based off my college roommates and best mate.





	What did you bring home last night?

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in about an hour on my phone so it's a bit rough. Sorry. I love listening in on random conversations and that's where this story came from. Tumbler prompt at the end.

“Hey Waverly, quick question… did you bring anything… new home last night?

     No, I don’t mean like a throw pillow or dish towel, I know you brought those over last week when I was on the night shift-

     I know I didn’t say anything but that doesn’t mean I didn’t notice, I’m a deputy, I’m trained to notice-

     No, I know it’s nice to hear when someone appreciates your work, but you snuck the towels in while I was at work. I thought we were doing one of those ‘pretend they were always there and not acknowledge the new purchase’ kind of things, like we did when you bought the rug-

     No, I know it’s your money and you can spend it how you want! I’m not telling you not to buy stuff for our place, hell you could use my money too! I like the way you’re making it our home, but you snuck it into our kitchen while I was gone and never mentioned it! How was I supposed to know you wanted me to comment on it?

     No, babe, that’s just a stereotype that perpetuates gender norms: two women together does not mean better communication! If anything, it’s worse because we over analyze everything and it leads to fights!!

     No, not you baby. of course not.

     No, I know you communicate very well, sometimes I just miss it. Just… maybe you should be more specific. I spend all day working with a bunch of stunted men, I think it sometimes wears off on me.

     Yes, I’m glad we’ve opened this honest line of communication..Uh huh...you’re so right babe….

 

"Hey. Hey Waves! Can we get back to the elephant, or well, the animal in the room, real quickly here?

 _Yes, I noticed that!!_ It’s kind of hard to miss there babe!

I don’t care how you got the alpaca but we live in an apartment, you can’t keep it, put it back— right, llama, my bad, I’m sooo sorry, whatever it still can’t stay here!

     No, Waves!!

 Babe, I can hear your pout from here!

     No, I know it’s cute!

     Yes I know they keep predators away from your livestock, but babe, we don’t have livestock!

     No, no I don’t think we could have livestock honey.

   Why? Because we live in an apartment! Where are we going to keep them?

     No-

     Waves!

     Forget the space issue for a sec. It’s not even legal to have livestock in an apartment!

     No, I know the O’Riley’s have chickens in their yard honey, but chickens aren’t allowed in an apartment either!

     Yes. Yes I’m sure!!

     Babe, they have a yard and they’re under the 10 hens limit! _And_ they got rid of their rooster.

No, I don’t think apartments have a smaller limit because they’re smaller. It’s the yard babe. You can’t have animals without a yard.

    Yes I know I have a cat and that’s not illegal. I misspoke. Should have said livestock and not animals.

    Yes, I know. My mistake.

    Uh huh….yeah...We’re still not keeping it Waves! No matter how cute.

    No, it doesn’t matter that you already named it. It’s not happening.

    Yes, I know this is a partnership and I do respect you--

    Babe!....Waves!!....No, I’m not going to change my mind.

No this isn’t residual patriarchal bullshit making me think I can control your thoughts or tell you what to do Waves!!   It’s. Not. Legal.

Yes I’m pulling ‘that deputy bullshit’ again like with the indoor pool, which also isn’t legal in an apartment no matter how bad you’ve always wanted it.

Waves. As a deputy sheriff in this town, I’m telling you that you need to remove the alpac-llama from the premises.

    Babe, please…

    No, I can’t just change the law!

 

Where is it going to shit Waverly?! Huh!? I was trying to be nice and not shatter your dream, but this thing is going to pee all over you favorite boots and then what’ll happen!?!

    I know we can’t just dump it somewhere on the side of the road baby.

    No, I know it’s not going to be easy to say goodbye to Frederick.

    What about Wynonna? I bet she’d love a llama! And chickens!

    No, I know she can’t even keep herself alive, but we make sure _she_ eats from time to time. We’ll just fill up his water and food when we drop by.

    Babe, he’ll be far more comfortable in the barn than the apartment and there’s already that heater from when Henry was living out there.

    No, no I think it’s a great idea. I mean, we should probably hold off on the chickens until we see how Freddy fares-

    Oh, I’m sorry Frederick. How Frederick fares.

    I think it’s a good compromise too baby.

Yes, I’m glad we’re communicated more effectively. And I promise to acknowledge the hard work you do from now on, if you promise to tell me when I shouldn’t notice something.

    Uh huh...ok…

 

Hey Waves? Is Wynonna there right now?

    No, no I don’t need to talk to her.

    Love you too babe.

    uh huh…

    Casserole in the oven at 7pm.

    Yes, 350 degrees, I can read a recipe Waves.

Yeah, I know Champ was hopeless and you’re trying to break your man-boy habits.

    Yes Waves, 7 o’clock.

Bye…...ok, bye…...uh huh….

 

And you’re gone!!

\-----------

“Hey Waverly, quick question… did you or Nicole move any of your stuff to the homestead?

So then where the fuck did this alpaca come from?

Llama!! Whatever!!!

Waves!!!”

**Author's Note:**

> https://the-witch-daddy.tumblr.com/post/161936562849/why-do-i-hang-out-with-you-otp-prompts
> 
> “I don’t care how you got the alpaca but we live in an apartment, you can’t keep it, put it back— right, llama, my bad, I’m sooo sorry, whatever it still can’t stay here” au


End file.
